I mean, yes, there are Lisa Simpsons out there, but there are also Ralph Wiggums. Kids, as a rule, are smarter than we give them credit for. The weak link can cause all sorts of problems. It’s also a lot harder when there is more than one parent and one’s not so good at handling this. The second? Well that really just takes strength of conviction, which doesn’t always come easy. That doesn’t mean you give in to the kid’s demands or react inappropriately, but you do need to understand the little hellspwan, whether you like it or not. You still need to listen to your kid and pay attention, even if your kid is being a major pain. Unfortunately, the answer to both is “not easily.” Ignoring it is often the right thing, but in some cases, the tantrums are not there in order to get attention but masking something more serious.
What many parents fail to understand is that even a spank or yelling is still attention and still helps to reinforce the tantrum.
So when the parent reacts, it reinforces the tantrum and increases the frequency of it. Parents react to tantrums, which is why they often work, but the point of the tantrum is primarily attention. The best example of this is a child’s tantrum. It involves the concept of elimination of a behavior by refusing to reinforce it. An extinction burst is a concept from behavioral psychology.